Painful darkness filled with love
by RozBen
Summary: Skywise awakes from a horrible dream that sends him crashing into a dark period of morbid anger that startles the tribe. He doesn't understand this reoccuring night terror, or it'd meaning. All he knows is that he has been denied something somewhere along the line, and he intends on getting it back. No Matter What.
1. Chapter 1

You don't have to read this: Heyy, It's been a looong while, I guess. All my stories are practically dead since I have lost internet access and my "fallowers" are probably no longer interested in what i had written months ago. So, I'm going to try to re-kick start my writing, but since I'm using a friend's computer, there may be long periods in which nothing new may appear. It is just a warning, **though I have every intention on continuing this story to it's end.**

_I do not own Elfquest._

* * *

_Darkness..._

_That was all he could see, all he could smell. It was a thick winter fur, suffocating and trying to destroy the now. Inky blackness surrounded him, howling wind tearing through his silvery hair, sending loose strands to the wild wind's mercy. A chill passed through him as he fallowed an invisible path, unable to stray. It was as though a rope wastied around his wrists and was roughly tugging him along, sending him stubling but he was not able to fall to his knees._

_And then the screaming started._

_It was an awful noise, an unearthly sound that ripped through his chest and skull, that assulted his ears like blades. The pain he was hearing felt like his own, and he doubled over, unable to draw in a breath and unable to move forward. It choked him worse than the shadows that danced on the edge of his fading vision-as though a fire had gone out, creating a world of utter darkness. He made no noise, but the screams became louder._

_And he recognized the voice, someone who he knew in a way only a soulmate could._

_Yet, he knew not their name._

_The cries became sharp and ragged and cut off so abruptly that the silence was so much worse. He dropped to his knees, suddenly drained of all energy. He knew. He knew what had just happened, as the cries ended before the breath was through. He knew that who had been screaming, the one he loved yet did not know, was forever gone from his reach. He crumpled into himself._

_And that was the worst pain of all._

He awoke screaming. Thrashing. Crying. Shaking.

He became aware of being surrounded, of the warmth of many bodies pressing close to provide comfort and protection against this pain. Of the smell of those he knew since cubhood and those he's only recently met, though still precious as they were. Soft hands were palced on his cheeks, the familiar feel of warm magic flooding through her fingertips and into his being, as though to awaken him. But, he was already awake.

Gasping for breath, he grabbed the hands roughly and pulled them away from his face, turning away and screwing his eyes shut. He knew he had to be hurting her, his soul-brother's lifemate, yet it would hurt him so much more to release her. As though he were to lose another.

"Skywise," hard hands clamped onto his shoulders, but his voice was gentle, "It's okay, everything will be fine."

He dropped her hands as though they burned, and curled into himself, ignoring everyone around him. Trying to block out the sudden cold that had shuttered through him, trying to forget the awful dream, trying to block out the sound of the screaming. He still shook violently, as though he had been thrown by a zoot and hit his head, and were bleeding terribly. The pain he felt was already dissappearing, leaving a dull ache that demanded sleep.

His eyes were slipping shut, but he saw his tribe's faces, how worried and concerned they looked. How fear laced some of their expressions, how his cheif's lifemate eyes were glassy, how his cheif quietly tried to speak with him through their link.

It hurt.

This darkness.

It was odd.

Not knowing what the dream meant.


	2. Chapter 2

_I do not own Elfquest._

_... means a short passage of time_

_-xx- means a longer passage of time_

* * *

When night fell, Skywise was already awake. Watchful. Waiting.

He watched as a small hunting team were sent out to catch fresh meat, some of the members still new to the wolfriders and somewhat nervous as this was also a training session for them. They would meet up in a little while, going the direction the rest of the tribe would soon travel. He wished them silent luck that the hunt would go well, and that humans were not anywhere close by since they were still searching for the perfect spot to create a new home. Maybe this area would become their territory, since there was no human activity and plenty to eat and drink. The land was lush and plentiful, just waiting to be put to good use.

But, it did not feel like home.

The trees were too dense, the water was a little ways away, the meat tasted strange, as they never came across such birds and smaller animals. Where they were camped at, there were several small caves set up, all damp and dripping with water and surprisingly cold for this time of green-leaf. The wolves would sometimes whine, as the smells were to strange to be enjoyable, and the sounds would sometimes startle the riders.

Tonight, they were to press forward.

The dream that he so desperatly wanted to forget became front and center as the winds picked up, pulling loose a few strands of hair that shone in the moonlight. Because of the thick cluster of trees, the shadows seemed to dance in the wind. A chill passed through him, as he watched the others begin to pick up camp and rally togethe, waiting to fallow their cheif. Skywise wanted nothing more than to rush ahead, to scout the forest as to prevent any wrong turns. He wanted to be alone.

But that wasn't going to happen.

His brother in all but blood spoke with his lifemate across the camp, their two cubs chasing after glowbugs and each other, squealing in delighter laughter. Some wolfriders and new-additions from the sun folk would pauase to watch them, a small smile tugging at their lips. Cutter had not been fond of the idea of moving forward today as planned, worrying about his brother and friend. But, Skywise would have none of that-they had already been delayed when a wolf had injured it's paw on a hunt, and it had been decided to give the poor animal another night to rest up.

Skywise's body, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than for him to crawl into a pile of warm furs and drop into a nice, long restful nap. Exhaustion raked along his shoulders and legs, demanding to be listened to. The stargazer ignored the pains of his body, and denied the food Dewshine offered as she passed around the last of the meat to those who remained at camp, unable to even stomach the thought of food. He mounted his wolf and friend as did the others, all fallowing Cutter's orders. Skywise took his ususal spot beside his cheif and they were off, bounding through the woods.

...

All the jumping over fallen logs and roots that stuck out of the ground, all the sharp turns and ducking to avoid low hanging branches and tall bushes made Skywise regret having pushed Cutter to move forward with their original plan to press forward. Even with an empty stomach, Skywise felt as though he were about to vomit. His fingers ached where they clutched at his riding leathers, but that didn't stop him from falling off of Starjumper when he went too fast around a tree that seemed to appear out of nowhere.

He was nearly run over by One-eye and Pike, both of which who had been right behind him. He rolled out of their way, getting dirt onto his outfit and barely managing to escape their wolves' paws. He backed up into a small bush as the tribe slowed to a quick stop, pressing his fingers into his eyes as a headache set in.

"Lad, are you alright?" Treestump slid down off his wolf, along with his cheif and One-eye, and rushed over to him. Cutter offered him a hand that he took, though he wanted to ignore it. But, what would angering and hurting his cheif ammount to?

"Yes," he stood up and stretched, even though just moving sent fire up his back and shoulders, before shrugging. "I guess I took that turn a little too sharply."

Cutter's worried frown made it hard for Skywise to keep eye contact, "That's not like you, falling off of Starjumper like that. I haven't seen you fall off a wolf since we were cubs, just learning to ride."

Suddenly, all the pain and tiredness, all the soreness and hidden anger flooded through his being and he snapped, " Sor-_ry_, Cutter. Can't an elf be a bit tired? We've been searching for almost a season now!"

There were several sharp intakes of breath from the crowd that had gathered around them, the very crowd Skywise had forgotten about. No one had used that tone of voice with Cutter since he became cheif, especially not his right-hand elf, his practical second-in-command, the elf the others went to when Cutter was too busy to handle it all. But none looked more shocked than Cutter himself, since even before he was cheif, Skywise would never raise his voice like that at him.

But Skywise was too angry for no good reason, which seemed reason enough, got back onto Starjumper. He led his wolf-friend a few feet before urging him faster, and they shot through the trees, leaving everyone behind. It wasn't until Skywise got a glimse of the stars, in a small clearing, for the first time in nights, that he realized how awfully he had screwed up.

His wolf-friend's whine only confirmed the fact.

-xx-

Eventually, Skywise found his way back to the tribe. He fallowed their scents, keeping distance and staying downwind. He watched as Cutter would glance around, pausing to look behind him, as though waiting for his return. The look on his face cut right through Skywise. The poor younger elf looked regretful, hurt and concerned all at once-it made him seem so much younger, yet so much older.

Some of the others spoke quietly amongst themselves, sending to one another. He could feel their links brushing up against his mind, and could get a vauge impression of each. Most spoke about what had happened earlier that night, and how it could effect the tribe as a whole. Others talked about how strange the forest seemed. He wanted nothing more than to call out to his tribemates, to speak to his brother alone.

But something held him back.

-xx-

Dawn was approching with a sudden swiftness, lightening the sky and spreading hot air throughout the forest.

Skywise estimated where the tribe would stop-a small clearing not far ahead, by a small stream and surrounded by fallen logs and tall grasses- and rode ahead. He quickly unpacked a little bit of meat and water, and settled down beside Starjumper, using his wolf as a sort of prop to make it appear as though he had stopped to rest and had just nodded off. This tactic he had used several times in the past, when having run off for one reason or other. Cutter and Bearclaw would always just sort of smile and shrug and leave him alone, never really commenting on it.

He could only hope that Cutter wouldn't wake him up.

With that, he closed his eyes as the sound of his tribmates and their wolves came closer, some already chattering verbally as there was no longer a need to stay silent. He slipped lower down Starjumper's side, his head resting on warm fur and a living body, letting his face go somewhat slack as his breathing evened out.

What he hadn't expected was to actually fall asleep before they saw him.


End file.
